Life is not a rehearsal...... Life is not a rehearsal.
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by BFVLocation: Somewhere next to that place
Age: 21Sex : M
previous entry : All U need is coffee and a bed.
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God I need U nancy.
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12/21/2001
Another nite spent alone, needing Nancy by my side.


I saw my sister after band practice last nite.
She's been referred by the psychologist she saw to a psychotherapist.
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another 6 month wait before she even begins to get better.
I can't take it any more.


Much as she psses me off and much as I wish she'd grow up, she's my little sister.
And seeing her drugged up with anti-depressants etc just made me cry.
I tucked her in bed last night cos she felt sicka nd got her a glass of orange juice, then I went upstairs to cry.


All the time wanting to call Nancy, knowing that her words would comfort me, even if she physically couldn't.
But I didn't make the call.
I knew that it would wake her, and despite her saying it would be ok, I couldn't burden her with my unhappiness at 12:30 in the morning.


I'm seeing ehr for a drink tonite, haven't seen her all week.
I really miss her.
I know she's been in a bit of a bad mood, and this is her last week at her job.
then she has two weeks to sort out a flat and get ready to move back up north.
oh, and maybe spend christmas with me.
(detect the somewhat selfish srcasm there?
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I hate feeling how I do at the moment.
I hate knowing that I'm barely gonna see her, for god knows how long.
I hate the fact that I've spent the past 3 months worryign instead of enjoying and now I can't turn back time and do the things I've wanted to do, and know it doesn't really matter.


I guess an apt lyric would be of Linkin Park's In the end (来源：2HZZ常识网 http://www.
2hzz.
com)

I tried so hard, an got so far.


But in the end it doesn't even matter.


I had to fall, to lose it all,

An' in the end, it doesn't even matter

I think this a return to my old self.
I think I'm gonna end this entry here and go an' do something happy.


Take care chaps/chapesses.


Phil