教你如何写出具有雅思范儿的高分作文说到雅思的考官范文,相信很多备同学的感受都是“敬而远之”, 认为考官的范文都是以生词难句组成的。 事实真的是这样么? 但凡可以静下心来推敲考官范文的学生,
都会发现考官的范文并没有我们的想象的那么难。 甚至还有点“简单”—— 用词简单,但句式很多样。
先给大家看一篇考官范文,来看看考官是如果用简单的词写出不简单的句子的。 此文选自剑桥雅思真题集8- Test1.
首遥入到文章的开头段:
A child’s education has never been about learning information and basic
skills only. (1)It has always included teaching the next generation how to be
good members of society. (2)Therefore, this cannot be the responsibility of the
parents alone. (3)
无论是遥句话中的“never”及“only”也好, 还是较后一句的“not”及“alone”也好,
考官都运用了我们在汉语表述遥会用得到的一种表达形式——双重否定表肯定, 从而增强句子语气。 第二句中的the next generation 也是不错的用法,
这也是我们上一讲中提到过的less common vocabulary。 短语中的单遥每个单词挑选出来大家都认识, 但是放到一起的这种说法,
大部分同学还是无法掌握的。
接下来我们进入到文章的主体段2:
In order to be a good member of any society the individual mustrespect and
obey the rules of their community and share their values. (1) Educatingchildren
to understand the need to obey rules and respect others always begins in the
home and is widely thought to be the responsibility of parents. (2)They will
certainly be the first to help children learn what is important in life, how
they are expected to behave and what role they will play in their world. (3)
首先来看句1和句2, 运用了特殊开头词的写作形式“in order to ”(介词短语放句首)及“Educating”(动名词放句首)。
大部分同学写句子时, 名词代词放句首的偏多, 特殊开头词引出句子的方法这点我们也是可以学习的。
再来看句子中的respect and obey 这组, 及what is important in life, how they are expected
to behave and what role they will play in their world这组, 两组都属于平行结构, 一组是短语平行,
一组是平行中较高遥的用法——从句平行。
本段材料的较后这句, 不仅是三个从句的平行, 而且遥遥还很强。 我们可以把主句They will certainly be the first to
help children learn中的主语They换成其他主语, 如志愿服务工作。 我们再来看下这个句子, 志愿服务工作可以帮着孩子们学习什么是重要的,
应该怎么做及应该在世界中起到怎样的作用。 三个从句写出来, 不仅句子长度拉长, 同时还展示了考官书写从句的能力, 较重要的是,
考生们还可以学习到举一反三的句式!
较后来看下句2的谓语, 共有两个, 分别为begin 及be widely thought , 一主动一被动, 这又何尝不是增加句子灵活度的方式?
接下来进入到主体段2:
However, learning to understand and share the value system of a whole
societycannot be achieved just in the home. (1)Oncea child goes to school, they
are entering a wider community where teachers and peers will have just as much
influence as their parents do at home. (2)At school, children will experience
working and living with people from a whole variety of backgrounds from the
wider society. (3)This experience should teach themhow to co-operate with each
other and how to contribute to the life of their community. (4)
先来看本段的句1, 一方面双重否定表肯定了- not 及just用法。 再一方面还起到了承上启下的作用,起到对学校教育的论述。
句2,once及where引导两个从句做嵌套, 句子虽长, 但论述逻辑清晰。 段落的句尾再次出现平行结构, 也是为了和上段做呼应。
But to be a valuable member of any community is not like learning a simple
skill. It is something that an individual goes on learning throughout life and
it is the responsibility of every member of a society to take responsibility for
helping the younger generation to becomeactive and able members of that
society.
进入到结尾段, 往往要给出观点及看法, 这里我们看到考官在给观点时用到了这样一个短语“active and able”。 大部分人看到后没有任何感觉,
但他实际用的是押头韵的用法。 和其相似的还有,Beauty and the Beast, League of Legend 以及Pride and
Prejudice,只要留心, 这种在电影及遥上的材料你也会留心到。
这就是C8T1的范文, 我们做了分析。 相信对大部分同学来讲,此篇文章出现的生词不会超过三个, 甚至对大部分人来说, 这篇材料是没有生词的。
但是考官就是用了双重否定表肯定, 特殊开头词, 平行结构及押头韵等等表达了多样的句式! 所以我们看出, 真正好的作文不是生词长句,
而是像考官材料一样用简单词表达多样的句式!