养成18种肢体语言 让你举止得体大方There is no specific advice on how to use your body language. What you do might be interpreted in several ways, depending on the setting and who you are talking to. You’ll probably want to use your body language differently when talking to your boss compared to when you talk to a girl/guy you’re interested in. These are some common interpretations of body language and often more effective ways to communicate with your body.
First, to change your body language you must be aware of your body language. Notice how you sit, how you stand, how you use you hands and legs, what you do while talking to someone.
You might want to practice in front of a mirror. Yeah, it might seem silly but no one is watching you. This will give you good feedback on how you look to other people and give you an opportunity to practise a bit before going out into the world.
Another tip is to close your eyes and visualize how you would stand and sit to feel confident, open and relaxed or whatever you want to communicate. See yourself move like that version of yourself. Then try it out.
You might also want observe friends, role models, movie stars or other people you think has good body language. Observe what they do and you don’t. Take bits and pieces you like from different people. Try using what you can learn from them.
1. Don’t cross your arms or legs 不要交叉手臂或腿 You have probably already heard you shouldn’t cross your arms as it might make you seem defensive or guarded. This goes for your legs too. Keep your arms and legs open.
2. Have eye contact, but don’t stare 眼神交流很必要,但别盯着别人看 If there are several people you are talking to, give them all some eye contact to create a better connection and see if they are listening. Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out. Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure. If you are not used to keeping eye-contact it might feel a little hard or scary in the beginning but keep working on it and you’ll get used to it.
3. Don’t be afraid to take up some space 别害怕,多给自己一点空间 Taking up space by for example sitting or standing with your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in your own skin.
比如两腿分开的坐着或站着能增添自信,还能透露你对自己的状态感到很舒服哦。
4. Relax your shoulders 放松肩膀 When you feel tense it’s easily winds up as tension in your shoulders. They might move up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to loosen up by shaking the shoulders a bit and move them back slightly.
5. Nod when they are talking 倾听时别忘了点头 Nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.
时不时点头是你在倾听的信号。 但千万别过头了,把自己变成成啄木鸟伍迪了哦。
6. Don’t slouch, sit up straight 别耷拉着,坐直了 But in a relaxed way, not in a too tense manner.
但也不用太拘谨哦,放松点就好了。
7. Lean, but not too much 斜靠着,别太过 If you want to show that you are interested in what someone is saying, lean toward the person talking. If you want to show that you’re confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. But don’t lean in too much or you might seem needy and desperate for some approval. Or lean back too much or you might seem arrogant and distant.
8. Smile and laugh 微笑和大笑 Lighten up, don’t take yourself too seriously. Relax a bit, smile and laugh when someone says something funny. People will be a lot more inclined to listen to you if you seem to be a positive person. But don’t be the first to laugh at your own jokes, it makes you seem nervous and needy. Smile when you are introduced to someone but don’t keep a smile plastered on your face, you’ll seem insincere.
9. Don’t touch your face 别摸脸 it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the listeners or the people in the conversation.
这会让你更紧张,还会分散交谈中听者的注意力。
10. Keep your head up 别低头 Don’t keep your eyes on the ground, it might make you seem insecure and a bit lost. Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon.
别一直看地上啦,会让你看起来不真诚外加分心哦。 把头抬起来,眼神也专注点吧。
11. Slow down a bit 慢一点 This goes for many things. Walking slower not only makes you seem more calm and confident, it will also make you feel less stressed. If someone addresses you, don’t snap your neck in their direction, turn it a bit more slowly instead.
12. Don’t fidget and try to avoid, phase out or transform fidgety movement and nervous ticks such as shaking your leg or tapping your fingers against the table rapidly.
别坐立不安,也别不断地换姿势,或是通过抖腿或不时用手指敲打桌子来传达自己的紧张。
You’ll seem nervous and fidgeting can be a distracting when you try to get something across. Declutter your movements if you are all over the place. Try to relax, slow down and focus your movements.
想克服什么困难,坐立不安只会让你分心和紧张。 稳住自己,放松,慢下来,专心自己的行动吧。
13. Use your hands more confidently instead of fidgeting with your hands and scratching your face use them to communicate what you are trying to say.
在表达观点时,别再让手无处安放啦,自信点,也别总在聊天的时候玩手指或是挠脸哦。
Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make. But don’t use them to much or it might become distracting. And don’t let your hands flail around.
水杯放低点 Don’t hold your drink in front of your chest. In fact, don’t hold anything in front of your heart as it will make you seem guarded and distant. Lower it and hold it beside your leg instead.
15. Realise where you spine ends 挺直脊椎 Many people (including me until recently) might sit or stand with a straight back in a good posture. However, they might think that the spine ends where the neck begins and therefore crane the neck forward in a Montgomery Burns-pose. Your spine ends in the back of your head. Keep you whole spine straight and aligned for better posture.
16. Don’t stand too close 别站的太近 One of the things we learned from Seinfeld is that everybody gets weirded out by a close-talker. Let people have their personal space, don’t invade it.
我们都知道对方谈话者如果站得太近是非常奇怪的一件事,尊重别人的空间,别侵犯。
17. Mirror 模仿 Often when you get along with a person, when the two of you get a good connection, you will start to mirror each other unconsciously. That means that you mirror the other person’s body language a bit. To make the connection better you can try a bit of proactive mirroring. If he leans forward, you might lean forward. If she holds her hands on her thighs, you might do the same. But don’t react instantly and don’t mirror every change in body language. Then weirdness will ensue.
18. Keep a good attitude 态度好 Last but not least, keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude. How you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major difference.
较重要的是,态度要积遥、大方和放松。 你的感受会通过肢体语言传达出来,会产生很大的影响。
You can change your body language but as all new habits it takes a while. Especially things like keeping you head up might take time to correct if you have spent thousands of days looking at your feet.